Of dirges and lullabies

“Tori, why did you do this to me? I love you my dear and your departure does not change anything.The son you left me is still very much alive and I am keeping him safe just as I promised,” his journal read.

We all still maintain that my brother had gone crazy weeks prior to his rather timely death. For the first time death made sense to me….he was in so much pain and only the dark angel could sooth him. Apocalyptic days became his present reality and while we doubted the the coming of the great of persecution, he lived them. Tori, my sister in law had left him in limbo. He was in an imbroglio he could never escape and our supercilious folks were quick to say he had offended the ancestors by marrying a white lady. “It is taboo,” they said.

“The pots you so cherished have been cleaned my love, I know it was you. And yester-night the baby just got quiet when the door creaked open ha-ha I know that was you again. Your love has survived the tomb and I am deeply grateful”
The day her contractions became more frequent and severe, we all got into the car with my father and drove to Inner City Hospital. My father was so drunk that he could not tell a B from an A but we had no option as my brother was away. We flew down Del Ray Lane and lo…..

“I can not say I want you to pass my love to that monster because he stole you from me…….but not for long la reina….not for long”
In the freak accident, my father died on the spot but Tori and I survived seemingly unhurt yet the pain ran deep. She super-humanly still gave birth to a still baby who had been shocked, battered and killed in the accident but gave up life at the sight. When she saw our little addition…..when she saw that he was a zero, a place holder, born a corpse, she let go. My brother lived in a world of his own where his son survived but of course, dad killed his wife. I have a deep, sharp and unpredictable pain I endure every cloudy day since the accident. The pain runs deep…..

“I am now coming…………Our son is gone, I have nothing to live for anymore”
After two good weeks of total insanity, my brother killed himself. The pain runs deep…..yes it does but I know with this pain I feel, I will join him soon…..